John Crichton had screwed the pooch once again.
He'd finally found a wormhole home and was ready to try flying his module down it. The plan was for him to fly through, land and check that it was a) Earth and b) the right version of Earth. Then he'd send a signal for Aeryn to follow in her ship once he knew it was safe. It all seemed to be going fine, he flew through the blue swirling vortex, arrived in Earth's upper atmosphere and landed. Everything looked to be right - it was the correct date and everything seemed to be how he'd remembered it. He sent the signal back to say things were ok and to come on down - then waited.
He'd been waiting for slightly too long, it had only taken him 60 microts to traverse the wormhole, Aeryn had been lost in there for double that.
Finally he heard her voice crackle over the comms,"There. So much for your directions."
"You didn't follow my directions?" John asked with panic, "Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You're lucky you didn't end up in some unrealised reality, or back in time... or in Oz!"
"It's fine, I'm here now so lets forget it - I'll try and land near to your beacon."
"Ok, transmitting now."
"Could you boost it - it seems kinda weak to me."
"It's at full power, I canny give it any more..." John joked, "Hurry up and get down here so I can show you Star Trek."
"Alright, I'll get as close as I can but with your signal the way it is I might end up a bit of a walk away."
"That's fine, I'm in the city centre so you should be able to catch a bus to me."
"A boos?" she tried. John always found it funny when she tried a new word from his home planet. He then realised the whole idea of public transport was probably new to Aeryn.
"Actually, I'll catch the bus to you - I can't imagine they'd be your scene."
"Whatever - coming in now."
John heard her ship scream by while he tinkered with his module, he then felt the ground shake as she landed.
"Jeez, never known you make such a bumpy landing." he chided her over the comms as he continued checking his readouts.
"I didn't, I..." Aeryn started, but something had obviously distracted her.
"What is it?" John asked, feeling the urge to grab his gun
Thankfully Aeryn replied quickly, "Your people - you didn't mention they like building models so much."
"Well, some do - what makes you say that?"
"I appear to be in a very large model city. The detail is astonishing but the craftsmanship..." John heard a large snap over the comms, "...its rather lacking."
Something didn't seem right.
"Aeryn, stay were you are, I'll come straight to you - have you got your beacon on?"
"Yes, I switched it on when I landed."
John checked his scanner to see her signal coming in incredibly strong - that would make finding her very easy. He got back in his module and set it to follow Aeryn's signal.
It took a while to get to her, she had landed some distance away - but as he neared her ship he realised why. It was massive, her wrong turn in the wormhole must have messed up her ship's dimensions making it bigger... making her bigger.
John brought his ship into land next to hers which was now the size of a Peacekeeper dreadnought.
As soon as he got out he could tell where Aeryn was from the distant screams and thumping noises.
He called her over the comms again as he ran down the city streets, "Aeryn, its not a model! Its not a model!"
Just as John said this he rounded a corner and saw her in all enlarged glory.
"Yeah - I've worked that out now." he heard her say - not just through the comms but echoing all around him despite her being a few blocks away.
In her hand was the top of a tower - no doubt what she'd snapped off when she inspected the model city.
"Don't worry, I can fix this." John told her, "I'm sure there's a way through the wormhole which will..."
She cut him off, "Who says I want this fixed? I was always worried your homeworld would be a bit boring with your severe lack of technology - being its giant empress might liven things up."
"I thought you were looking forward the quiet of a primative world, so we can... you know... blow off some steam."
Aeryn smirked, "I know you're pretty good at blowing off steam on your own - especially now you have all this to look at."
As she said this she leaned back onto a nearby building, still toying with the top of the tower in her hand.
"And as for me... well, luckily your people have a habit of making their buildings very phallic."
Meta: I can't believe I've never done a collage with Claudia Black. Farscape was one of my favourite shows as a teen and I think a big reason for that was her. She has such a kick-ass attitude that she'd be the perfect giantess. I was always disappointed the show didn't play with size more - I know they had that episode where she got shrunk, shame they didn't get a 5th season to make a sequel to that where the opposite happens. Maybe I should make some of the other women of Farscape bigger - Chiana and Grayza spring to mind. Originally Claudia was holding her pistol in this shot, I clone stamped it out and added the tower instead.
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